Shehan and Jamie: Two Lovebirdies

Dear Valentine...

2012-02-14T16:47:00.002-07:00

Dear Valentine,

I loved the way you woke me up at 2:12 in the morning by squeezing me as hard as you could and saying, "Hey. Hey! Happy Valentine's Day, baby girl!"

I'm not positive, but I'm pretty sure I groaned and rolled over.

You make quite the impact.

Love you,

Your wife

Cute credit

For those who feel they haven't much time...

2012-02-13T21:05:00.001-07:00

Amish Friendship Bread

2012-02-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

Has anyone else done this?

I got a starter bag of Amish Friendship Bread from a coworker who didn't feel like putting in the work to finish it. I received it on Day 5 and Sunday was day 10 - the day you mix, separate, mix again and bake the bread.

If you are unfamiliar with Amish Friendship Bread, it is a unique dough that ferments. It has simple ingredients like eggs, milk, sugar and flour. Once you reach day 10 of fermentation you put your starter in a bowl, add a few more ingredients and then measure out four more starter kits before mixing what you've got left into the yummy cinnamon-y bread that is super moist - I attribute that to the pudding mix involved.

I recommend making starters and passing them around a holiday as it seems to bring about friendly feelings. :) My dear cousin took one starter and I gave the others to neighbors.

Go to THIS site to find out how to make the starter and also the instruction sheet you should pass around with each bag!

I love bloggers like Darby

2012-01-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

I love my blog friends who don't give up on me! Especially ones who feel my grad school pain - Darby included! This sweet girl of Life With The Hawleys has tagged me in her post.

And while class is about to start and I haven't the time to complete her challenge I'll do part of it:

The rules:

1. post the rules
2. post 11 fun facts about yourself
3. answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and then create 11 new questions for the people you tag
4. tag 11 people and link them in your post
5. let them know you’ve “tagged” them

11 facts

1. I love my new job. I've always felt passionate about politics and experiencing a presidential election year while working for the federal gov't is giving me a unique perspective!

2. I have mixed feelings about Shehan being home. I'm SO happy he's back and my lovebirdie is with me again and yet...my house was so clean during his absence!

4. I love popcorn. I've said this before but I can't handle how much I love it.

5. I am considering purchasing a turtle. A desert tortoise actually. We'll name him Tim Gunn.

6. Grad school is really fun but....gah I can't wait for it to be over! And I have no interest in attending this graduation!

7. I hate licking envelopes. I once heard a rumor about a girl who licked an envelope with spider eggs on it. She cut her tongue and the eggs grew in her tongue, popping out when they were full grown.

8. I love writing - I wish I had more opportunity to be creative with it!

9. I have no interest in writing all these research papers my profs claim they are preparing me for...

10. I'm a happy, optimistic person who is NOT easy to get along with - people don't believe me though!

11. Shehan is the best thing to ever happen to me. So far. ;)

Darby's Questions:

1. Why did you start blogging?

I've always kept a journal and with a busy life things got hectic. The nice thing about a blog is you can write whatever you want and still feel like the world knows and recognizes you. The friends I've met while doing this are keepers!

2. Do you have a bucket list? If so what are two things on it?

Yep! One is go to Sri Lanka and meet my in-laws. Another is go dog-sledding!

3. What is one thing you can’t live without?

Puppies.

4. What was the last book you read? Did you like it?

I read "An Invisible Thread" and really enjoyed it. It wasn't unique writing but a very unique story.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
Certainly not just one place! I'd love to have many homes in many places where I could go to visit family, escape the heat or cold or just vacation!

6. What dish or recipe have you always wanted to make, but have been too scared to?
I've never met a recipe that intimidated me.

7. Are you a morning person or a night owl?
TOTALLY a morning person. I love watching the sun rise outside my office window!

8. What is your pet peeve?
Crooked photo frames and people who take offense easily.

9. What is your idea of a perfect vacation?
Any new experience!

10. If you were given a million dollars, how would you spend it?
After investing, taxes and tithing, I'd use it to travel.

11. What is your guilty pleasure?

I watch a lot of terrible television. Usually as I'm working out. Or doing homework. Let's not get into the specifics of each show or I might embarass myself...

Thanks for the fun activity Darby!

Oh, I have a nice new pic of me and my adorable man: (who, btw, has lost 90 lbs.)

Today's the DAY!

2012-01-15T14:38:00.001-07:00

My husband has been MIA for three weeks. Three. Weeks.

Tonight is the night he comes home to me! I can not wait for my man to return. I've made a few improvements on the house and I'm excited to see his reaction to them!

One of which is this:

A HUGE improvement on our old one. I had the old orange couch hauled away the same day I go this one. I advertised it online and in four hours it got 400 hits. People really want a free IKEA couch, don't they?

It's been hard without him. I had several holidays with work off and we were let off early several times. It was pretty crappy to have nobody to go home to. At least tomorrow I'll have him with me for the vacation. It was also a little difficult to not have him home when I began the semester. I'm sure the little ones in my house were busy doing this all day:

In Shehan's stead I had my dad give me a father's priesthood blessing to start the school semester off right. I am sure it helped. All week I felt under control of my Master's degree, where it is going and what I want to do with it. Even though by Wednesday I still hadn't decided on an elective, I just wasn't worried.

That's not like me. You all know I have serious anxiety issues and such. This week was great. Don't know what happened but I'll be fine if the rest of the semester is just like it.

Only 30 min before he's back in the States (LA, that is.) I'm so excited!

A new calendar

2011-12-31T22:23:00.002-07:00

I like to start my own new year based off of my birthday. That is, after all, officially when a new year begins for us all - on the anniversaries of our birth. However, for the sake of the calendar. I'd like to review 2011.

My little sister got engaged two nights ago. I was away on a business trip in Moab, UT (if you haven't gone, GO) and although her fiance warned me ahead of time I was still a little hurt I wasn't even there to give her a squeeze. I was alone, contemplating reality television on the floor of a very nice but very empty hotel room, when I got her phone call.

I have mixed feelings. Most of which I choose not to write down for fear of desiring their retraction later. Overall, though, I'm happy for her. For their new life they are now planning. I look forward to their wedding in 2012 - a year they'll celebrate forever.

I began grad school this year and both relished in it and regretted it. Finishing it will be remarkable. Here's to 2013 on that one.

The advantage of having a blog is that if you maintain it and are honest you have a record that doesn't allow you to forget things. I really treasure this. My memory is lost to multiple reasons- medication and an unexplained illness in my teens involving encephalitis - the bits that I record are so special. And those I don't record are kept somewhere else.

I've met challenges this year that I haven't encountered before and I hope they reach resolve in 2012. I know through this my husband and I have grown closer with a better understanding of how marriage can last and thrive. So, as today nears a close and a new calendar begins again amid fireworks, shouting in the streets, music and millions of New Year's kisses, I know 2012 will be full of new things for us. Though I spend this holiday quietly at home, wishing my husband was near, I'm feeling extremely optimistic and full of life.

Best wishes for the new year, friends!

Beautiful

2011-12-27T22:23:00.002-07:00

I had such a wonderful Christmas. Best in a while.

Except for one little thing. I drove my sweet husband to the airport Christmas morning and said goodbye to him for three weeks.

It sucked. Still sucks.

Yep, I cried. Yep, I cried again. Yes, I am a baby, thank you. I know it. But seriously? There are some things in life I don't really want to do alone right now. Ever. And it is so difficult having him physically gone. I can't imagine all you military wives. I can't imagine being able to just stick it out and be who you need to be and get through it time and time again. Shehan's only gone for three weeks and I'm being an absolute waste of air about it. A total whiner. Whatever. I'm still going to whine and occasionally cry.

I'm stressed about my semester starting in less than a couple weeks. Didn't I just talk about the relief of ending one???? Oh, and by the way? to end this post on a cheery note (because I'm a wimp and am going to lay in bed alone at 10:30 just because I have nothing else to do)

I got a 3.9 GPA.

I've got breathing room again!

2011-12-14T22:56:00.001-07:00

I just sent in my last final paper and have three weeks until next semester. I could sing.

I've felt so absent from my blog world. My blog friends don't comment because I don't comment on their posts because I've been gone and I feel so....lonely. :( Haha. Seriously though I'm so excited to read people's blogs again! To have the free time to do it! Yay!

Today I'm looking forward to several things.

Christmas is coming up and the entirety of my dad's side will be together this year. I can't remember when that last happened and I couldn't be more thrilled. We function better when we're together. We're happier. More relaxed. Just...sigh. That's family. My family, at least. Love 'em.

My job has confirmed I'll be sent to D.C. in February for a week-long conference. Yay! I'm so excited. I haven't been there since 2008 and I miss it quite a bit. I'm hoping to take my adorable man with me so he can see the capitol of this nation he's now a part of. :) That made me smile. Really big. I seriously can't wait.

And most of all? Today one of my dearest, nearest and longest-lasting friend Steph (the one who stayed with me a few months ago) emerged from brain surgery alive and well. This isn't her first rodeo and I hope they get some answers from the info they collected this time.

Many prayers were said in her benefit today. I drove to one of our state offices today and the entire drive was spent with a prayer on my lips. She was okay enough to call me - as she tends to do - post-surgery all drugged up and unable to say much more than, "uuhhhnn" and "I love you." I ask all of you to send her positive thoughts as she'll certainly need them.

Here's to more positive things!

The Dickens Festival

2011-12-11T16:53:00.003-07:00

My friend Mary (I've mentioned Mary before) and I went to the Dickens Festival yesterday. She told me it was a matter of nostalgia to go and I was delighted to be her companion.

We took her little one Lily (and unborn baby bee) and I'm sure Lily had fun.

The reindeer were fuzzy - and tired. And cute!

Warm roasted chestnuts (does anyone know how to open these easily????)

Lily dipping candles - I think it looks like a super delicious popsicle. Mmmm....popsicle.

It's been windy...

2011-12-04T18:40:00.001-07:00

Thanksgiving was wonderful. I have some photos but they're on my sister's camera so...I may never see them again. :) Just kidding Ang.

Thursday night was a bit breezy here in Davis County, Utah. We had hundred mph winds and damage unlike any I've ever seen. I got up for work at 5:30am Thursday and the lights flickered until I left at 6:30. Shehan told me they finally went out at 7. With a brief stint of power at 7:20 it went off again and did not return until Friday night.

Our house got cold. We stayed at my parent's along with my cousin and her little family.

We returned to a warm home with no damage except the partial casualty of the backyard fence which my dogs find most interesting.

This morning we woke up and found out church had been cancelled so that all the men could go out in the neighborhood and clean up as much as possible before the next storm, which is slated to arrive tonight.

This home burned and was condemned. See the burn marks through the roof and burst windows? Scary and sad...

After a while the National Guard was called in to help in our official state of emergency!

This isn't a direct photo but that truck is full of tree debris. Angie and I saw six full ones just like this while driving from my house to my parents' - about a mile.

Eilly is 1!

2011-11-23T19:00:00.001-07:00

As I've mentioned before, there are a lot of adorable babies surrounding me. One of which turned one last week! Sweet Eilly thoroughly enjoyed her first cupcake.

I adore my family. This little one is like a niece to me and I hope one day she'll think of me as an aunt! Can't wait to have all of us with kids, playing with each other and going to school. Oh my. Time. Who has time to wait for it??

Mmmmm recipes - Sesame Asparagus

2011-11-19T22:30:00.001-07:00

I had to create a cook book for one of my classes with original photos. It was fun! I chose recipes with 5 ingredients or less. Since Thanksgiving is in a few short days I thought it might be fun to give some ideas of things I'd like to see on my own holiday spread.

Sesame Asparagus

Ingredients

1 large bunch asparagus, ends trimmed
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
1 1/2 teaspoons low-sodium soy sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons sesame oil
1 teaspoon sesame seeds (white or black)

Directions

Use a vegetable peeler to trim any tough parts of the asparagus stalks. Pour about 2 inches of water into a large saucepan and bring to a boil. Add the asparagus, cover, and cook until tender, 3 to 7 minutes (depending on size). Drain and transfer to a platter.
Meanwhile, in a small bowl, combine the vinegar, soy sauce, and oil. Spoon the dressing over the asparagus and sprinkle with the sesame seeds.

Seasonal depression. Wah - wah.

2011-11-16T21:54:00.001-07:00

I swear I'm not a Debbie Downer. I swear.

Recently for one of my classes I created a site all about Seasonal Affective Disorder and a variety of ways you can help alleviate symptoms naturally.

So go visit it if you would like at: TruthAboutSAD.blogspot.com

I didn't think the presentation I made was very good. I didn't get much of a response about it even after incorporating my entire family/life history into the lesson. At the end of class, however, one of the two boys in the group approached me and very seriously asked how you could tell the difference between seasonal depression and general depression. I gave him my best answer from both what I've experienced and what I've studied and hope that helps. It was nice. I knew he was possibly talking about a loved one and it touched me that he'd pay enough attention during class to want to know more.

I think I got through to a couple people. It's a tough topic - one that is not only difficult to talk about but difficult to pinpoint in the first place. I have noticed my depression has been a lot better since I'm in school this year. Remember last year? Yeah, that was bad news. I was crying almost daily over - what? I don't know. My poor husband felt powerless and we both just wanted life to get better.

A combination of the things I list on the site is what helped me, and continues to help. I hope that maybe you'll visit the site and get something out of it too.

LOADS of confessions.

2011-11-12T19:40:00.001-07:00

I'm in the mood to spill.

I'm a federal employee and I didn't vote Tuesday. Oh gosh. Can I say that? Will they come after me? I feel bad but there was simply no time. I go to work before the sun is up and drive home from school when the sun is WAY down so no way Jose.

I might have learned how to survive this grad school business. Might.

I am so pining for a baby right now. It's eating me up inside. However, long chats with The Man Upstairs tell me I can wait. Things are being taken care of right now - namely job and school so I'll be settled. I'll be calm. I'll be patient. Although with SO many beautiful babies I know of being born this year, it's getting harder to wait. My mother would like me to give in to the pressure - it's pretty obvious! But eh...what're you going to do?

One of those babies belongs to my cousin. Her name is Olive and she was a caterpillar for halloween. Evidence? Here.

Another one belongs to my wedding photographer/sweet friend Dani. Her little one? Hattie. Check out her photography: here.

What's a woman to do?

A snippet of life right now...

2011-11-07T21:45:00.004-07:00

::husband walks in bedroom::

type type type type type type type

::husband kisses wife's head::

type type type type type type type

::husband quietly walks out of bedroom::

type type type type...

::wife looks up, looks around, eyes squinting::

wife: "What just happened here?"

I'm a slave to the books, papers, highlighters and laptop. Thank heaven for a decent keyboard. Oh, and for a decent man who kisses me while I'm in zombie-state.

Happy Halloweiner

2011-10-31T17:49:00.001-06:00

Slow down, Jamie

2011-10-23T22:04:00.000-06:00

I've had a couple blog posts lately that have been less than enthusiastic about life. While I'm not really ever pessimistic I do get down. Very, very down.

I took a hike with my girlies up North Canyon a couple days ago to clear my head.

The air was so cool and calm. The leaves perfectly crunchy.

Gold. All of it gold.

Though construction crews had dug a trail miles long to fit pipe along the mountainside (a very interesting project to watch) it was still a beautiful thing to look at in the fall. Especially when Clare thinks so too and gets her tail tangled in the protective netting. :)

She's crazy. (look at my ultra-blonde hair - whoops)

What to do without them? Hm?

I hoped to get temporarily relief from stress. It turned out to be an absolute motivational boost. I'm taking appointments to offer the same treatment to my friends and family. Book early! ;)

Shehan's first day at elementary school

2011-10-23T14:23:00.000-06:00

My oldest sister teaches 2nd grade at an adorable school and asked Shehan to give her kids a short presentation on the country he's from (Sri Lanka). Since Shehan and I were both home last week Shehan kindly obliged.

He created a short PowerPoint presentation that included what the country looks like, where he lived and mostly where he went to school. The kids were fascinated.

Originally he was to present to 30 or so kids in my sister's class. It ended up being the entire grade.

After the presentation ended Shehan invited kids to ask questions. Everything and anything from, "Did you have electricity?" to "Do you have a girlfriend?" came up and we loved every minute of it. It's really fun to be married to such an interesting person - I have to admit I love the attention he draws - I got very lucky.

Too much - I'm a wanna-be quitter

2011-10-20T00:17:00.000-06:00

I don't know what my breaking point is. I never have. I've gone through a handful of challenging things in the 23 (24 on Saturday) years I've wandered around on this hunk of land and water. Each of those things has pushed me beyond a point I thought I'd surely break at.

Just for clarification: breaking points and breakdowns are two different things. Plenty of breakdowns - no true breaking points.

I don't think I've lasted/withstood each because of some form of strength within me. I'm just not a strong person. I'm a willful person. I believe in mind over matter. But this time I'm tired of going further. I just want to give up on school. I know, I know, I'm only one semester in but...seriously. It's too much. It's too much.

It's too much. The tears in my eyes well up more and more each time I write that.

I'm getting tired and worn down. My headaches are getting worse. My comprehension skills are worn so thin I'm wondering if they're still existent. My memory is getting worse as well. Each of these are signs of serious stress on my mind. A professor asked me today how I was holding up in the program. I was honest. I told her it involved a lot more stress than I expected and I wasn't sure how long I could stick with it.This stress is making me someone I don't want to be: short-tempered, sarcastic, rude, unthoughtful, etc. Everything a good wife isn't to her (truly loving) husband. Maybe I'm supposed to learn more patience through this? Ugh. It's utterly lost on me.

I want to complete this program. My real problem is I know I will complete it. I'm no quitter - though I'd love to give up on something in life that will bring me relief. I did give up on Clare ever learning to "sit" on command. She's not too bright. On big things, however, I just can't back down. Right now this is a habit I'd love to break myself of.

One major problem: I am starting a new job on Monday and if I quit school, I lose the job. It's a Catch-22 I'm sure God is responsible for.

I can do this. I just hate feeling like I've been recently flattened by a 18-wheeler.

I coulda been a model

2011-10-16T00:07:00.001-06:00

When I worked at Backer's Pastry Shop in downtown SLC a million years ago more than a couple handfuls of people would come in to purchase delicious things to make their thighs fat and tongue overjoyed and at the same time often made a comment or two about me. Many were photographers, others were fashion-know-hows and still others were randoms but they all said the same thing. "You could/should be a model, you know" followed by their various credentials to make their suggestion seem more valid. Each one I smiled, shyly brushed them off and continued on my way.

A couple years later a talent scout from Elite Model Management invited me to a casting call so I went. And I....wasn't chosen to stick around. No harm done.

However those instances have always led me to think, "what if?"

What if I had taken those phone numbers or business cards? What if I had been called to model with Elite or someone else? What if, what if?

Well I'm sure my life would have been more glamorous with a larger wardrobe but I also wouldn't have fallen in love with my husband. I wouldn't have pursued my schooling as strongly, I may not even still live in good ol' Salt Lake City.

The What Ifs get louder whenever I attend events that require models. My friend Mary Rino is a fashion designer and I support her enthusiastically. I attended a fashion show tonight which her pieces were in (Art Meets Fashion) - great fun, by the way...


One of my favorites from Mary's collection and her business Lily Bride Designs

...as I watched those long-legged girls strut up and down the catwalk the What Ifs came back.

And I decided something. I'm perfectly fine being the homely wife of a Sri Lankan immigrant.

Blog award

2011-10-11T21:00:00.002-06:00

I have this cute friend at Popcorn, Pugs & Peonies. Very cute. She gave me a blog award and I am a) flattered and b) excited to share the love.
Thank you Erin for being a constant sweetheart.

Erin has given me the Liebster Blog Award. This is given to my favorite blogs with less than 200 followers. I'm comfortable with my followers (I honestly know and love you all) but hey, what's wrong with possibly getting some more??

I'm going to pass on this award to some of my blog friends to keep the train moving.

Award recipients must remember to:

1. Show your appreciation to your award giver by linking back to them.

2. Comment on the blogs that you have chosen, so they are aware of the award you have given them.

3.And finally proudly post the award to your blog!

I award:

Emma from {Race&Emma}

Natalie of My Blog Is Boring

Whitney of Whitticisms

Whity Wife of The Young and Married

Ashley of Our Traveled Road

I also apparently have 7 facts to share about myself:

1. I can't wear tennis shoes for anything other than hiking, camping, fishing or jogging. I just can't. And I'll wear sandals until I absolutely have to change shoes.

2. I love my husband's hair. I hope our kids have his hair!

3. Skinny jeans are my comfort zone.

4. I'm incapable of wearing lipstick. It's Burt's Bees all the way!

5. I LOVE getting dressed up to go somewhere. I love dresses. I love jewelry. The whole shebang.

6. I hate dog hair. I have two long-hair dogs. It's a lethal mix.

7. School is really hard for me because of multiple reasons the largest of which is my inability to retain information in my memory. It's frustrating.

Okay friends, I wish you all the best in your blogging adventures!!

Our 2nd Anniversary

2011-10-11T13:39:00.002-06:00

Two years ago yesterday we were busy doing this:

and while there is a lot more of this going on ;) we had a quiet celebration. We counted our trip to Arizona as our anniversary trip. So yesterday we went out to eat, got a movie and cuddled up on the couch together. It was wonderful.

I'm so in love with this man and I love that my every day is consumed with him - and always will be. So while I did spend the day with this beauty:

My cousin's sweet baby Olive

He'll always have me. I'll always have him.
Happy 2 years.

A day for fishing history

2011-10-08T20:37:00.002-06:00

Shehan wanted to go fishing this weekend. I promised him last Sunday I wouldn't forget and we'd absolutely go. Two weeks ago we caught 5 beautiful trout at Mirror Lake in the Uintah Mountains (our favorite place to fish.) Well, the luck might as well continue, right? So we headed up again.

This is what we were met with:

And we still got out of the car, bundled up our coats and grabbed our poles.

I wore a hat, hoodie and waterproof shell. Not enough for my hands, though!

Angie was freezing and keeping her back to the wind.

We still enjoyed it. Sort of. I got two casts in and called it quits. My powerbait was frozen.

It was beautiful up there - I can't deny that. The fall colors exploded against the snowy white world.

I'm so glad my dad and sister braved the weather with us.

Angie and I got to the lake first and were going to go back to the car but after my dad got his bait applied he headed out to the water and we followed him and Shehan around the lake via the boardwalk. The faithful troops. :)

Shehan is so good for me. The man doesn't let things get him down. He smiled and laughed though it was obvious his fishing wouldn't happen the way we planned last week. I wanted to sit down in the snow and not move after my fingernails felt like they were about to fall off. He kept me going because he kept going. Angie and Dad too. I have never fished in the snow before this trip. It was a new, COLD experience.

I have an awesome family.

(photos via Shehan's phone)

The perfect message at a needed time - about family planning

2011-10-02T18:34:00.000-06:00

Obviously by now you know I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It's clear from my photos, my words, my links, my friends, I am a very Christian, very Latter-day Saint woman. Sorry if this was new and I just caused a gasp among my little readership. ;)

This weekend was General Conference. As we do more often than not my fam and I went up to the cabin to listen. Shehan and I drove up yesterday afternoon and heard a very special talk given by a very special man.

Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles spoke yesterday about families. Particularly about having children - the decision to do so - mostly. This is the talk I had my ears trained for. I've been searching for the words he spoke for a little while now. He spoke about the very private decision that must be carefully and prayerfully made by couples as to when is the right time to bring children into the world. I had chills running up and down my legs and arms during the entire talk but one part was particularly poignant:

"It was not in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve bore their first child...It was not in their Jerusalem home, with gold and precious things, that Lehi and Sariah, acting in faith, bore their sons Jacob and Joseph. It was in the wilderness...
"...The most beloved story of a baby's birth, there was no decorated nursery or designer crib. Only a manger for the Savior of the world.
"In the best of times and the worst of times, the true saints of God, acting in faith, have never forgotten, dismissed or neglected God's commandment to multiply and replenish the earth..."

I had never considered the young, often clueless, couples of scripture when I thought about my own cluelessness. The decision to have children is as old as the dust. It is often made, and often not made at all. However, babies come. And each is a blessing. Each is a miracle. I dream about my babies. I dream about their sweet, soft faces and rosy cheeks. The way her dark hair curls around my baby's ears is enough to bring me to tears at any time. I've felt those little ears in dreams. I know the weight of that little one in my arms and the name I speak over and over. I often wonder if it is even appropriate to call these episodes "dreams" when to me they are memories. Oh sigh. Someday.

It's clear they're eager. It's also clear this isn't solely my decision. :)

Perhaps what was doubly special about Elder Andersen's talk was he is the very man who sealed Shehan and I together in the temple for eternity almost two years ago. He is the man who spoke with us before we entered the room where we held each other's hands and I knew Shehan would never let me go. He is the man who is forever special to us. Not to mention he is my parents' neighbor. :)

I got what I wanted from this October's conference. I feel so good about it too.

More photos - driving back home

2011-09-30T22:45:00.000-06:00

**Please be assured every photo taken from the car was done by Shehan. He was sure I would crash in the middle of the desert and our bodies would be picked clean by vultures if I myself stuck my arm out the window to snap photos.**

It was serene, even though we had to pull over once or twice for me to nap. We got time to just sit for hours with our fingers interlocked. I love holding his hand in the car. Don't know why. Just do.

The desert has such a special place in my heart. I hope one day to be able to experience living somewhere else but this is home. The red dirt, changing leaves and snowy winters are everything I need to feel I'm in the right place.


(Bridge across the Colorado River - my favorite)

I hope that, although Shehan is from a lush paradise, he builds a corner of his heart just for this dry land. Our kids will, I know they will. No matter where we raise them.

An informational short - created by me!

2011-09-27T23:44:00.001-06:00

I'm so in love with this homework assignment.
This video was created by me. In roughly 15 minutes. This is the single best (and cheapest) way to get my message across airwaves. Too bad I could never afford to use those airwaves....so a blog will have to do. To play the vid, hit the play button but don't forget to pause my iPod! -->
I love my little Swedish man. Haha. "Yoo and thee floo!"

Why You Should Wash Your Hands
by: Meggameg

Our travel south

2011-09-24T23:29:00.001-06:00

My (very) long-time friend Steph spent a week in my home and it was wonderful. She's from Gilbert, AZ so we don't see each other much - because of every bit of life combined, it seems. The last time I saw her was at my wedding. She looked gorgeous.

Well unfortunately she had to go home sometime. (It was her little sis' birthday - that's the only excuse I would oblige to letting her go.) Shehan and I took the road trip down to Arizona to drive her home.

It may take me a few posts to get through the photos but here are some of them:

We went to the Grand Canyon. I don't have good photos of the canyon itself because it was a lot prettier from the car than out of the car. Maybe it takes going down into it for the view to be crazy incredible. But hey - there I am with Steph in front of -what now?- the GC itself. Oh my I miss that girl. Never should have agreed to taking her home. I plead temporary insanity.

But the sights along Highway 89 were amazing.

$40 Target Giveaway. No strings attached.

2011-09-23T20:06:00.000-06:00

My lovely friend Vivian is hosting a giveaway on her blog, A Dance for Five. A good one, too. And she has 3 (count 'em) ways to enter! You can get your name in 3 times!

Just follow her blog. Seriously though I wouldn't tell any of you to just randomly follow a blog but Vivian is adorable. Just check out her blog - I recommend looking through her creative party ideas. She's truly amazing.

And gorgeous to boot.

So go HERE to enter and win that gift card!!!

"Study Time" - interrupted

2011-09-22T19:44:00.002-06:00

How am I supposed to create a billboard ad for a natural gas company when that harmless button for StumbleUpon shows me stuff like this?

I will not survive in this thing called grad school.

credit

Labor Day - late.

2011-09-19T21:54:00.000-06:00

I feel so absent from life.

Labor Day weekend (yep - two weeks ago) was lovely. I shared it with my Marissa and her adorable family at East Canyon.

I was silly and didn't haul my camera around as I should have but we played miniature golf, waded in the river, played tennis and got eaten by bugs.

I loved all of it.

Now maybe grad school will give me a break so I can post recent photos about my recent goings-on! (No such luck.)

9/11

2011-09-11T11:07:00.001-06:00

The U.S. flag above Pearl Harbor Memorial in Hawaii

I remember getting ready for school. I was 13, in jr. high and battling in the bathroom with my hair. It was super tangled. I heard my dad from his bedroom say, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." He yelled my name and said, "you've got to see this."

We turned on the kitchen TV and I watched live as the second plane hit the second tower. My dad said, "this changes everything." I had no idea what the Twin Towers were. I didn't know what the World Trade Center was.

Shehan turned on the TV a half a world away in Sri Lanka. It was evening time and he thought he was watching a movie. BBC had never shown movies before.

I'm seriously proud to be an American. I'm proud my husband will be one day too.

Love abundantly

2011-08-31T09:15:00.001-06:00

I don't often post without photos. It makes me uncomfortable to do so but words are important too.

A few nights ago I had my besties Marissa and Allie (my returned missionary) over for a backyard campfire. We talked about all sorts of things. A chunk of which was centered around dating, relationships and marriage. I shared a lot with them that night about how I fell in love with Shehan. It was slowly and gradually. It had a lot to do with his conversion to the LDS church. It had a lot to do with how I saw his soul stir every time he learned more about the Gospel. But I think the biggest factor in our being together was this:

We kept our hearts open.

This is the best advice I can give my wonderful friends and family who are young and dating and going through relationship trials and joys. If you simply allow yourself to love and be loved your fears will melt away. I know lots of people hate allowing themselves to be vulnerable to heartache but if you really look at it...

heartache is so worth it. If we didn't hurt once in a while we wouldn't feel joy. I remember a time when I was in love with a different boy. His philosophy was pain avoidance. He lived his life expecting things to go wrong, people to lie and cheat you, goals to go unreached and attempts to fail. It was depressing just being around him. He was so afraid of getting his heart broken that he didn't give any love away for fear his trust would be betrayed.

This is wrong.

An open heart consists of this:
taking joy in simple things
hoping for the best - and when the worst occurs, counsel yourself that you're prepared. You are more than well equipped.
loving without fear of someone failing to return that love
having faith in humanity
practicing compassion - especially on yourself

And the list goes on. I'm especially blessed to have a husband with the same philosophy. We get hurt in life but we already have band-aids. A scar or two is okay. I know that when you aren't afraid to love someone, you aren't afraid to love everyone.

I'm sure I know what angels sound like.

2011-08-24T08:17:00.005-06:00

My family is seriously talented. My mother entered college with a scholarship for playing the violin, my sister Jenny the clarinet. Angie plays the cello, clarinet, guitar and piano (self-taught), I play the piano, flute and oboe, Lise the piano and violin and my dad the harmonica and guitar. This isn't all though. Most of my mother's side of the family can sing. Beautifully.

My cousins Katie and Rachael top all of us with their voices. And Katie accompanies herself on the guitar (self-taught). Oh yeah - and they write their own songs. NBD.

Someday they will be famous. And I hope they'll remember me. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up I listen to them. In person they can make me cry.

Please listen to one or two or all of their songs! Before you hit the "play" below, pause my bloggy iPod player over there ---------------------------------->

Their recorded songs.

04 Empty Words - Original by Rachael and Katrina Brown

Short legs

2011-08-23T09:52:00.001-06:00

This dog will never cease to pull things out of nowhere. Her squeaky apple core is nowhere to be found until she wants to play, when the food dish is empty she still wanders around crunching bits of kibble. Maybe I just need to vacuum.
This dog pulls energy out of who knows where just to prove me wrong.

Meg has gotten fat again. She began to lose weight when she started her thyroid meds. Then...I am not sure.

I kinda slid backward on our exercise routine and I feel like I've failed her. :( We started up again and I hope she'll lose weight.

Sunday night I quietly slipped out the door with her at 9:00pm carefully avoiding Clare. Clare is too short to run for as long as we need to run and she slows us down. It's just a fact. So Sunday Meg and I ran ourselves sick. Seriously that poor dog. We got home exhausted and roasting to a sad-looking Clare in Shehan's lap. He told me she'd cried almost the entire time we were gone.

I don't need this. I don't need those big, dewy eyes looking up at me.

So last night we planned on escaping again. Well Clare would have none of it. She watched for the signs - my black leggings - my tennis shoes - my iPod. Shehan tried to distract her by taking her outside to go potty. That lasted about four seconds. She leaped out the back door as I grabbed Meg's leash and started for the front door. Then I heard scrambling nails on the kitchen tile and her unmistakable bounding through the hallway and it seemed she was instantly at my feet. As usual?

I caved.

About halfway through our usual route I got frustrated and let Clare loose. We were in a quiet, sleepy, empty neighborhood at 10:15pm. I'd see a car coming long before Clare could be in danger so I just let her go. And I'll be darned if that little snot didn't keep up with us! She'd even get excited every time we were going to cross a street and she'd bound in front of us - running her little heart out! I contemplated getting her back on the leash as we approached home but nope. She recognized where we were and ran all the way home. Not unlike Toto escaping Mrs. Gulch's picnic basket. She had the energy to run all along but I'm pretty sure she realized if she runs slowly and I'm pulling on her to keep moving, my pulling takes out 3/4 of the work.

Sometimes I swear that dog is smarter than me.

My bestie is home

2011-08-13T12:41:00.000-06:00

I couldn't be happier.

The Pal and Me

Scotti, Marissa, Allie, Me. This group lasts forever!

Two birthdays - a brand new one and one that's 19 years old

2011-08-12T09:55:00.001-06:00

My sweet cousin Heather and her wonderful husband Jim had their first baby on Wednesday, August 10th. They were sweet enough to allow Shehan and me to visit them in the hospital just 12 hours after birth and I got to hold little Olive.

Isn't she gorgeous?? She's tiny. Like a little doll! I've been so excited waiting for her. Heather's sister Sarah had her first baby back in November and I'm so excited to see them grow up together and be best friends. Man I love babies. Hopefully this one along with Eilly (Sarah's baby) will stave off my own baby cravings and help me be patient.

Not only did that little girl have a birthday on the 10th, this one did:

Yep. My baby sister is 19. Cra-zy. In honor of that, here are 19 things I love about her:

1. She says what I'm thinking and saves me time trying to spit it out.
2. She shops like me - super efficiently and crazy quick.
3. She loves popcorn. I need someone to share my popcorn bowl with.
4. She's independent and headstrong!
5. She's stalwart. I don't know many people as grounded as my little sis.
6. She can pull me out of a bad mood. Or into one. But when we're both grouchy we find reasons to laugh at how silly it is to be in a bad mood.
7. She loves my puppies.
8. She can dance and figure skate. Talents I wish I had a drop of!
9. She loves adventure and is up for pretty much anything.
10. She has high standards and sees no need to lower them for anything or anyone.
11. She learns the rapping portion of any and every popular song and can go for hours repeating them faster than they're originally sung. That's wicked talent.
12. I can say things to her I can't to anyone else.
13. She's competitive and driven - not a healthy combination when we're not on the same team, though!
14. She has style. That girl is like a little doll and always has been. Since her birth my mom and I have been eager to put new clothes on her. Now she can do it herself (obviously) but she does it well and I love seeing her in cute things.
15. She's honest. Not just about always telling the truth. Angie is honest in her dealings with people. In her emotions. Even in her demeanor. She never wants to mislead anyone.
16. She has perspective. It takes a lot for a young woman to view the world with a grain of salt and at the same time a set of rose-colored glasses. She uses both with skill.
17. She is optimistic.
18. I love her double-sided laugh. One is her regular laugh - with humor. The other is a laugh she only allows to escape around people she loves.
19. She'll play a million rounds of Phase 10 and Yahtzee with me. Even though she hates to lose.

Love you sis.

p.s. my Allie came home last night to a million hugs, kisses and tears. Pics when I get the chance!

I've got myself a missionary. And a hair dilemma.

2011-08-04T15:01:00.000-06:00

This little lady is Allie. Or Hermana Brewster if you'd like to be correct. That is, until she comes home. Then you'll have to call her Allie again. Or Al. Or Pal, Pallison, AllithonCwaigBwoostuh or Shamiqua. She'll answer to all of the above.

My bestie has been away for a very long time and I've missed her something fierce. She has served a mission (as previously mentioned a million times) for our Church in Panama - land of the bugs, runny makeup and a general "why get married when we all live together just fine?" attitude. It's also beautiful. Through Al's photos I feel like I've been there.

Back to my reason for posting. She's coming home and will be here in a week.

I feel like I've been waiting for only a week and also a lifetime all at once for this. I'll have my walking/jogging partner back! Someone to go to the temple with! Someone to dance around to Disney tunes in my living room with! Someone to just be there for those heart-to-hearts I've yearned for in her absence. I have to pace myself. I hate it but I'll be sharing her with her family too. Bummer. That's what comes from having a popular best friend. I'm pretty sure we were best friends in heaven too before we came here. Positive.

Oh yes - look how cute my short hair is. I haven't cut it since my girl left. Maybe I should cut it again? It's adorable...why is it so easy to decide I need more shoes but not so easy to decide on a new hairstyle?

Design your own quilt - without having to go to JoAnn's on a Saturday

2011-08-02T11:26:00.000-06:00

My mom makes quilts. She somehow spits out 1-2 a week and has transformed my old room into her sewing room with an enormous quilting machine to take up all that empty space. Last weekend I helped her make one for a local Eagle Scout kid. It was fun. But it was the easy kind - two squares of fabric with some batting in the middle. Done.

When motivated by a baby, new home, any event with loss or joy, my mom makes a quilt for it. Don't forget weddings. She let me pick a design for my own wedding quilt and viola! a beautiful cranberry red quilt. If we ever teach the dogs to sleep on the floor I'll use it on my bed. Until then it stays safely tucked away in the linen closet. Sad.

Since my mom is super crafty I turned out that way too. I love sewing, crocheting, creating and generally spending too much money on 2-for-1 thread and fabric remnants bought 50% off. Those remnants come in handy.

I've always wanted to complete my own quilt. I love designing them. Pieced quilts are the best. They require work, patience, commitment and mostly love. I've found some motivation to get it going.

There is a cute little website that allows you to design your own pieced quilt. I love it. I spend way too much time at home making virtual quilts. This one is my favorite:

It's so adorable I need to make it a reality. Besides, chevron stripes are SO in right now.
Click HERE to make your own.

The shuffle

2011-07-31T14:23:00.000-06:00

Happy like this. Free like this.

I am at a crossroads of sorts. Right now I am flirting with an opportunity that I pray and pray will be mine. I wish I could go into more detail but until an official offer is made I can't.

Shehan received his green card this week. It's so beautiful to our eyes! As I recall Shehan kissed it when it arrived. He can get a driver's license! Reduced school tuition! Best of all a new job. As an international student at the University of Utah you are not allowed to work off campus and even on campus you can't be employed full time - cut at 19 hours a week. It seems a bit unfair to me but that's just because I'm on this side of the issue.

I feel liberated with this change. Absolutely consumed with gratitude. And a bit stressed. I'm finishing up my summer school project just a weekend before my bestie Allie comes home from her 19-month LDS mission in Panama. I'm so excited to see her I could burst into tears any time of day or night. And just three weeks (two?) before fall semester begins. Yikes. Someone should have stopped me when I applied for grad school. You're all clearly slackers! But hey, at least my husband can get back to school and stress with me, right?

Have you ever had something tangible change you the way Shehan's permanent residency has changed us?

Our lives will be very improved over this. For us and our crazies.

Happy Pioneer Day, Utah

2011-07-25T00:19:00.000-06:00

Today is Pioneer Day. I appreciate the state I live in. It took a lot of work to settle Utah and I am so proud to have pioneer roots.

Shehan and I celebrated by exploring the Strawberry Pinnacles and the Strawberry River.

And as we approached the Ute indian tribal reserved lands these beauties were around to greet us. :)

Clare barked at this one. Poor baby.

Happy Pioneer day. If you're feeling adventurous for the historical look up the impact of Emmeline Wells. She's one of my heroes.

I'm seriously proud to be an American

2011-07-20T12:13:00.000-06:00

I don't know how I got so lucky as to be born here. Going through the process of immigration with my man has opened my eyes as to the plight of legal immigration. (Illegal is a whole different matter.) It is expensive, time-consuming, limiting and frustrating. It's hard to understand all the rules and regulations but I stand by my comment yesterday, "America wants immigrants. We want diversity. Just in a legal manner." Too bad it sucks getting there.

Shehan and I have gone through a lot to get his green card and permanent residency status awarded and completed. A huge load of money, about 7 months and roughly 7 Jamie-meltdowns later I can announce this:

Just so everyone's clear on Mormonism

2011-07-18T16:15:00.002-06:00

Being a Mormon in Utah can often cloud our ability to know what people who aren't Mormon think of Mormons. (Or Latter-day Saints. Pick your coffee - I'm sorry - poison.)

Every so often it's good to hear how we're perceived. Good to know we're not the dominant religion in the world and good to know people still think we're polygamous. Because, if you haven't surmised by now, my man joined the Church for the marriage fetishizing. - And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we hook 'em in Utah.

So if you still have questions ask away. Or watch this video for clarification. I don't want any of you wondering how I'll be raising my kids so here's your answer:

I love anyone with a good sense of humor. :)

Farmers Market - new little lovebirdies too!

2011-07-16T22:00:00.000-06:00

Megga went to the vet this morning to get her thyroid checked as a follow up of her recent diagnosis of hypothyroidism. Not fun. And guess what? Her thyroid checked as normal!!! Yay! That means the medication she's on is doing exactly as it should. Good girl for getting her blood drawn today - she's such a mellow thing it's a breeze going in and out of the vet.

This afternoon Angie and I decided to hit up the Salt Lake City Farmers Market downtown.

It was a lot of fun. I love supporting local produce and merchandise so it's a big thing for me. Each year it's held in SLC's Pioneer Park but this year it is the largest ever - taking up the entire park.

I found a couple of treasures:

New lovebirdie earrings! I'm thrilled over them.

And the perfect new collar for my little honeybee Clare:

I can't get over it. It's adorable. Every once in a while I'll call Clare into the room just to look at it. SO cute. Ah.

Next time I'll go to the market earlier and buy some produce. And maybe a matching leash..

Taking the reins can be taking the back seat

2011-07-14T21:48:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I went to a meeting that (hopefully) changed my life.

After said meeting Shehan and I took a walk in the sun and talked about what we imagine the next two years of our lives to be like. I’ve been praying a lot lately for guidance and direction – and to have the strength to make choices that keep me worthy of that guidance. The one clear message I receive in return is: patience.

Time and time again. Once a religion teacher taught me, “If God tells you the same one thing, twice, He means it. He never has to repeat Himself.”

But I’m pretty sure He doesn’t just mean patience. I’m sure someday I’ll develop what is inside of that patience.

Like bravery.

Fortitude.

Wisdom.

Or see more things as my sweet husband does as he is quick to say, “It’s a miracle, baby.”

Guest post, Colon, Nexium, Babies and a Fashion Show

2011-07-12T09:42:00.002-06:00

**Be sure to check out my guest post for my bloggy friend Kassi of My Road to Mrs.!!!**

Update on my health: I'm doing well. The colonoscopy biopsy came back clean and the pictures of my colon are a nice, pretty pink with no problem areas. That's good news and bad news. Good for obvious reasons (I don't have cancer, I don't have internal bleeding, no sores, etc.) and bad news because if we found something we could treat it immediately. (note: NOT Crohn's, NOT Celiac - woo hoo!)

The doc gave me Nexium to help my stomach and it was working great - until yesterday. I woke up with swollen eyes and didn't know why. Then this morning I noticed my back was itchy so I scratched it. No relief. Then my arms were itchy and my face and my legs and my neck and everything! I'm clearly allergic to Nexium. I hope there is something just like it that I am not allergic to. I woke up with even puffier eyes this morning and I'd obviously been scratching in my sleep because there are tons of little broken blood vessels on my neck, chest and ears. Nice. Is anyone else allergic to this??

Update on my fam: Good stuff is happening. Two new babies will be arriving between now and October - both of which live about three blocks away from me. I'm excited for my cousins who are becoming parents for the first time. I hope they count on me dropping in!

Update on my hobby: A few weeks ago I shot a runway fashion show for my dear friend Mary Rino. I really love her. She is the genius behind Lily Bride Designs. I didn't post on it because I wanted her to get the first chance to see the finished photos. But now that I've given them to her I really encourage you all to take a look at her 2011 Fasion Stroll album. She is hecka talented.

So that's life right now. Work. School. New pills. You get the picture.

7-11

2011-07-11T14:05:00.001-06:00

So...everyone knows you can get a free Slurpee today, right?

I'm sure to grab one on my way home from work. Coke and Pina Colada are my favorite flavors! Don't miss out all of you! It's almost an office tradition for everyone here in the Bio Department to take a quick walk to the 7-11 just off lower campus on July 11 every year.

Yum.

Barely legal

2011-07-08T08:39:00.002-06:00

Aerial fireworks are now legal in Utah. This means quite a bit to this guy:

When he came to Utah my poor man was seriously disappointed in our New Year and Independence Day celebrations. In Sri Lanka (a lush paradise) fireworks that were enjoyed from home were all aerial. He has memories of each holiday lighting up the skies for miles around.

click to enlarge

Up until this year Utah (a dry desert) forbade any firework that left the ground more than a standard fountain. Fire safety reasons. But it seems our state was being overwhelmed by illegal purchases entering the state from (usually) Wyoming. It's always corporate politics.

This year was the first year I experienced airborne fireworks from home. We gathered a bunch of family together at my cousin Heather's new home and lit up the sky. Shehan spent a few well-placed dollars on some really fun fireworks and we had fun eating fried chicken, potato salad, watermelon and star sugar cookies. An all-American meal.

The GSL - revisited

2011-07-03T22:04:00.001-06:00

I've done a lot of things from my bed today. I read books for my class, worked on a workbook, watched 3 or 4 episodes of 48 Hours: Mystery, edited photos and taken loads of Ibuprofen. We're intimate friends.

Yesterday was better though I earned a bit of sunstroke along with a cousin or two. As per my cousin Sarah's idea we had an outing at the Great Salt Lake yesterday afternoon. I thought it was delightful. Minus the serious amount of no-see-ums, brine flies and rotting seagull carcasses. I love it on Antelope Island and I encourage everyone I know to visit it at least once in their lives. In November. Go in November. Or March.

I managed to get some lovely photos so it will look a lot cleaner than it felt - mostly because the showers were broken. :( (And Sarah forgive me for not catching you and Garrett! I always manage to leave someone out...)

Oh yes and the winners of my bracelet giveaway were notified by email this afternoon. Yay!

$100 for this??

2011-06-30T20:09:00.000-06:00

So as the world seems to know (because I have no shame) I had my colonoscopy yesterday.

Clean. All of it. A biopsy was taken of a bit but nothing to indicate my problems. I have mixed feelings about that. Relief because I don't have cancer or lesions or something scary. Frustration because I went through all the prep (that word does not justify what it entails) for the procedure with nothing to show for it. And mostly pain.

Apparently my body is a little messed up. Everyone else who had this procedure done in that clinic waltzed out just fine. Looking dehydrated but not in excruciating pain. Everyone I spoke with beforehand said recovery was no trouble - they woke up tired but fine! Well bah.

I woke up in agony.

At 16 years old I had a spinal tap done. Long story short the tissue tore and my spinal fluid slowly leaked out over the course of the next day. I was in the most pain one human could endure. Spinal fluid keeps your brain beautifully suspended. Without it? Bad news.

Anyway, the pain from my procedure is second only to that spinal tap experience. Seriously terrible. I don't mean to whine but holy. cow.

I was not prepared. It'll get better - I know it will - and I'm going to try something else to figure out this stomach mess.

"Before you throw out those old t-shirts..." & an easy giveaway!

2011-06-25T17:55:00.001-06:00

I had a rough work week. I learned a lot, corrected mistakes, apologized up and down and realized I'm not to blame but I can't help feeling "to blame." I can't go into details. So let's just jump right back into blogdom. That's where I'm happy.

Today my man and I planned on going to the farmer's market in downtown Salt Lake but got sidetracked and I whined it would be too hot to go so we're going to reschedule. Nevertheless we ended up going here. Utah's famous thrift store.

And buying a bunch of these:

Then this walked in the room and sat down:

"Mama? I want to help too."
"No Bee. You have no thumbs."

I chopped up the shirts and ended up with these:

Cute colors, right? I used these jersey tee strips to follow this cute idea for making bracelets. Vanessa just bought jersey fabric from her local stores but I was too lazy to head off there so I figured - heck, t-shirts are useful! And cheap too!

I practiced all three methods - with two fingers, three and four. I liked the 2 fingers best. This way they go single or double or triple!

Now comes the fun part.

I ended up making all of these:

I simply don't have that many wrists to show them off so I figured I'd give them to loved ones. And my readers just happen to be loved ones. I'm giving away 10 of these to all you sweethearts out there. (Hopefully ten. It depends on how many people respond.)

So please please please take some off my hands.

I don't play games with giveaways. Just leave a comment and please hit the follow button on the right and you're entered! (You don't have to be a follower. It's just nice.)

One note: please leave your email address with your comment unless it's easily visible on your profile. Contest closes Friday, July 1st at 11:59pm. Happy winning!

"But I wanted to help."

Love you dad

2011-06-19T19:56:00.000-06:00

Dear Dad,

Thank you for always being you. As a father who has confidence, excitement and zest for life you showed me through example that my life is full of joy too.

When Shehan and I were dating.

Thank you for being everything I wanted in a man.

Because based off of you I think I made the best choice possible.

Love you pop! Happy Dad's day.

All the components of fulfillment

2011-06-18T23:30:00.000-06:00

The longer I wander around on this earth the more I realize happiness is comprised of little more than a beautiful home

good company

and my eternal partner.

Happy birthday lovebirdie!

2011-06-16T08:49:00.000-06:00

Happy 26th birthday to the man who makes me feel like this:

every. single. day.

There is no nice way to put this: COLONOSCOPY

2011-06-14T12:38:00.001-06:00

Sigh. I'm so not comfortable with that word. I'm so not comfortable with the meaning of that word - especially when it is applied to me.

I apologize for chattin' it up about the gastroenterologist visit today but it went....okay? I guess? The doc wants to rule out symptoms of IBS before jumping the gun and telling me I have something worse. So I'm allowing them to take pictures of me from the inside. Gross. That pink thing in the pic is my fuchsia colon. It's mad. And camera-shy.

The green thing is my stomach. It's upset/disappointed/angry/frustrated/sick.

The yellow thing is my esophagus. We'll call it Gus. He's saying it's not his fault. We all know this but sometimes Tum (stomach) blames Gus and it hurts.

I've got problems. I can't eat. I can't sleep. I'm pretty sick of dealing with it. The doc offered me pills of all sorts and I politely rejected more chemicals. So the doc reluctantly offered me peppermint oil.
It's a gorgeous green pill that smells like Christmas Eve. And who wouldn't want to pop a Christmas Eve pill every once in a while?

The visit was good because I expressed my concerns about what it might be (Crohn's, Celiac disease, Gall bladder) and asked for a blood test to rule out Celiac. After the (ugh) c-o-l-o-n-o-s-c-o-p-y I'll know more about what this is about. I secretly hope it's my gall bladder and they'll just suck that bad boy outta there. But we'll see.

We're anticipating

2011-06-12T21:04:00.000-06:00

Not expecting. Haha.

Crazy week.

Shehan and I got released from our teaching positions in Primary last week. I've taught kids in the Jr. Primary for five years. This will take some adjustment, no matter what they call us for next. Shehan hopes for something low-key. I'd like some responsibility in my next calling.
Along those same lines, my dear old dad was called as bishop of his ward. I'm proud of him but to be fair we saw it coming a mile away. There has been a lot of elbowing and joking about how he should take a good look at his family because next time he sees us we'll be 5 years older and a few kids bigger. And that his thick brown hair will thin to gray within a year. All jokes aside I know he was born to lead. His light won't be held under a bushel for longer than it has to. Congrats pop.

We've been feeling the pains of summer already. I assure you it snowed just two weeks ago but already our air conditioner has been working overtime, my summer headaches are back full force and these wrinkles have made their appearance:

On this sweet bee:

She wiggles too much for photos. You know that.

And to beat the heat by spending time outside after sundown Angie, Shehan and I built a small campfire in our charcoal grill belly and roasted marshmallows and hot dogs. S'mores. Oh maaaan.

I've loved the decompression time but I may or may not have a summer project due in August. That I may or may not have started. Bet on the "not." Can you blame me? It's summer. Besides, I'm sure I'm not the only one who procrastinates.

I'm fashion-forward! Right? Hello?

2011-06-09T09:47:00.000-06:00

Mmkay so my taste is a bit autumnal but this summer I vow to be more sun-friendly! As a part of this move forward I wrote a guest post today for the dear Shellsea of Love, Shellsea.

I'm a dress girl. Love 'em. And a hat girl. But I don't really own any hats. That shall be remedied, I swear. Check out my post and say a quick hello to the ridiculously friendly and cute Shellsea!

Yesterday my dearest sis took my girlie Meg out for a shave. Meg came back naked and smelling like coconut. Angie can kidnap my dog any time! Pics to come - when it's not so blustery and Meg can chill out enough to take a decent photo.

Today I'm so grateful for my sis. She's pulled me out of slumps she isn't even aware of. Thanks lover.

Road trip in '08. Never forget Winnemucca!

One more angel in heaven tonight

2011-06-06T21:59:00.001-06:00

I wrote this post just over a year ago about this little one.

Now that sweet girl, little Brynn is in heaven tonight. She left this afternoon after saying goodbyes to her parents and baby sister.

Please keep her family, friends, and the thousands whose lives she touched, in your hearts.

I could be alone for less than this

2011-06-02T13:12:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I was thinking about depression a lot. Not how to "cure" it, hide it, dance around it or fight it. I was thinking about how it affects me as an individual
And not only that. For the first time ever (I know, I have a self-centered mindset) I thought, what does Shehan think when he sees me in my state?

As I look at all the reasons marriages crumble and fail in this modern world I gain a better understanding of how lucky I am. It takes a lot of faith to marry someone. You simply don't know them. Whether or not you've lived together first, marriage is a different beast. Shehan only scratched the surface of my gloomy moods during the year we were dating and 6 months we were engaged. He saw me shed tears but there was always a reason behind them. But with this? This enormous dark cloud is invisible and there is no sword nor armor that will conquer it.

Just love.

I realized for the very first time my husband could leave me over this debilitating problem. The emotional toll is huge and the disaster it creates in our home is painful. Yet each time he sees me sad or lonely all I see is compassion in his face.

Pretty sure I don't deserve it.

Raw diet recipes to survive on

2011-06-01T13:22:00.000-06:00

A few people have asked me for the recipes I used while on my raw food diet. I only followed a couple other people's - for the most part I made up my own. Here are a few of them:

Raw fudge

1 cup raw almond butter (great with strawberries too!)
1/2 cup cocoa powder or cacao powder
1/4 cup honey or agave
Dash of vanilla extract
1/2 cup crushed raw nuts if you like

Mix everything together until all ingredients are incorporated and fudge is smooth. Spread in a flat dish and refrigerate at least two hours until fudge is chewy. This will cure any chocolate craving while you’re on a raw diet!

Corn & radish salad
- my favorite savory dish

2 ears corn – sliced off the cob
3 small radishes – sliced thinly
fresh cilantro
2 tsp raw olive oil – or any other oil you have around
Sea salt & pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients together. I love lots of pepper on mine and it is really yummy!

Guacamole

6 avocados, smashed
4 tomatoes, chopped
3 green onions, chopped
Fresh cilantro
Two limes, juiced
1 tbsp sea salt
1/2 tblsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper

Mix it all up and enjoy with cucumber slices or wrapped up in lettuce leaves.

Banana ice cream

2-3 very ripe bananas frozen in chunks
1/2 cup any frozen berry/cacao mix you want to flavor the ice cream with

Blend all ingredients in a food processor until smooth. Yum. You’ll never crave fatty custard or ice cream again!

I haven't tried the banana ice cream yet because I didn't have time for my bananas to ripen enough and freeze. But I'm told it's heavenly and the banana flavor is easily disguised if you use enough berries. I will admit to you that I got rather weak and had to cave in and purchase some organic, preservative-free hummus from my local Whole Foods. I needed the fat from it. Avocado just wasn't doing the trick!

If you'd like more tips, recipes or info on my diet please just shoot me an email. Oh yes, and I went to the doctor yesterday and, judging by my symptoms, was referred to a specialist. Obviously the symptoms became too much for me and I had to cave and finally go in. It may cost a fortune but I feel like crap. All. The. Time. So here we go on a new journey!

Vacation for sanity's sake

2011-05-29T20:49:00.001-06:00

I spent 4.5 days on my raw food diet and to be honest? Despite the craving for sugarsugarsugar I felt better. A little bit weak but my insides weren't constantly uncomfortable - as they usually are. I would have gone for longer (I really would have) but Shehan and I decided to go up to the cabin for the weekend to see if my mood would improve. I knew my will would be no match against fire-toasted s'mores and hot dogs.

The cabin is therapeutic for me. I can't say exactly what it is about being up there but I feel better. Healthier from the inside out.

We rode our bikes, hiked a little and built campfires. For s'mores. And more s'mores.

Shehan in his manly gun pose, my view from on our ancient swing.

It was mostly rainy but the patches of sun we had were glorious.

We wore the dogs out. They insist on joining our bike rides so they run the whole time. Needless to say it burns them out.

And they're the very best companions to have at the cabin. It is Meg's favorite place on earth and would be Clare's too if Shehan didn't have such a cozy arm to sleep on.

May 24, 2011 I was beaten

2011-05-26T11:52:00.001-06:00

I can’t think of a way to state this without being scatter-brained. But I feel I need to get these words down. I have 121 followers who hopefully read my blog. To every single one of you? I pray you get some sort of help or insight from this.

Tuesday night was average to begin with. I broke my fast with cantaloupe and an avocado and felt full and comfortable. My little sister came over to watch Chopped with me. We watched way too much TV that night. But the situation called for it.

After she left it was late and I got ready for bed. I washed and dried my face and I looked in the mirror. When my eyes met my reflection my head suddenly felt heavy. My eyes felt hollow. They looked hollow.

I shrugged it off, took my medication, gave Meg her pill and climbed into bed. Shehan came in to kiss me goodnight. (He likes to stay up later than I do.) I can’t say when the tears began but I suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of emotional pain. I tried to talk to Shehan but I don’t know what I said. He looked downtrodden as he watched me crumble under the weight of my sorrow.

He sunk to the floor next to our bed and looked at me. He watched my body writhe and twist in the sheets with misery. He put his face in his hands and I begged, “please come up here.” He sat against the mountain of pillows I insist on having and held my shaking body, stroking my face and vowing to never let go.

What followed was at least an hour or two of him saying how much he wanted to “fix this” and me sobbing and crying, “Help me. I don’t know what to do.”

I don’t think I was talking to Shehan.

Eventually I fell asleep – safe and warm with Shehan and my doggies all on the bed.

As I said to a friend today, “I don’t want to see this as a precursor to future events.” She wisely replied, “It isn’t until it happens again.”

This is how I have to see it. I’m not a broken vessel. I can still hold my own together and see the difference between me and my depression. But I’ve never felt so helpless in all my life. My kind husband held me as I begged for a reason. Why? Why do I feel like this? Why does this problem exist? He suggested it may be just to make me strong. Well it’s exhausting me; whatever it’s doing. At work Wednesday my eyes were swollen and my skin looked pale. I seemed tired and listless because I was. I still am. I have to get over this episode. I have to work out this depression. But how?

I’m so tired of taking medication. Antidepressants are not an option for me. I’ve tried them before. The anticonvulsants I’m on now are supposedly mood stabilizers as well but I don’t think they do that with my body. My chemicals are messed up. I don’t want to be messed up. I want to be happy and optimistic and bright and cheery.

I exercise. I have hobbies. I have a good job. I have a support network of wonderful family and friends. I can tell the difference between my own feelings and the others I get. What is this?

That’s the problem with depression. I won’t get the answer I want.

My list of cravings is a foot long

2011-05-25T19:03:00.001-06:00

And I have tiny handwriting!

The 24-hour fast went well for me. I think it's a good kick-start to this raw food thing. It made me awfully grateful for the taste of anything when my fast ended.

Half a cantaloupe did the trick!

I have been craving everything from Doritos and frozen Twinkies to twice-baked potatoes and s'mores. I'm told this is expected and by day 3 I'll feel fit as a fiddle.

Until then I'll settle for this:

Strawberries with raw almond butter

Tonight I'm looking forward to a raw (of course) radish and corn salad. It sounds so good compared to carrots and apples I could cry. My friend Mary let me borrow a recipe book and all her raw food information. It's really good insight as to what foods work together and play off each others' flavors and oils. There is so much more to raw eating than I ever thought!

My only problem so far is a lack of protein. Avocados and dark greens are okay but I mean serious protein like eggs and fish. Oh well. It's only a week (maybe 5 days) and until then I'm not hungry so I'm not miserable.

I'm going to starve

2011-05-20T09:30:00.000-06:00

I couldn't sleep last night because I was trying to come up with a list of raw foods I'll be eating next week for my detox. I googled "raw food recipes" before going to bed and gagged on nearly every page I saw. I hate green smoothies. Don't care what it is - if it's a green smoothie it's going to taste like grass. I prefer pasta to Kentucky Blue thankyouverymuch.

After a while on that hunt I got frustrated and re-googled "edible raw food recipes." Dream on babe.

It didn't help that I watched Chopped - my new favorite show - in the middle of the night which caused me to dream about sauteed spinach with garlic and grilled salmon.

Looks like I'll be eating mountains of whatever I can find at Costco this weekend. My dreams next week will likely be me as a purple onion running from a heated wok.


My work lunch - celery, carrots, grapes, apple. My TMJ flares just looking at it.

Exactly how do raw foodists survive???

Raw food detox and Featherlocks

2011-05-19T09:25:00.001-06:00

I've had many friends comment/text/email me about yesterday's post concerning my health. Thank you all!

After a bit of research and chatting with the man of the house I have decided to try a 7-day raw food detox as guided by The Raw Divas. It seems most people who try this are attempting to lose weight and that isn't my goal. My goal is to see if I can essentially hit a "restart" button on my body and make some changes so my diet guides my poor body back into a healthy rhythm.

This is really a shot in the dark but I think it's worth it. And I've promised two or three people that if my last attempt here doesn't work I'll see a doctor. Boo. That's all I have to say about that.

Anyway, if you're interested I totally recommend you give this detox a shot! You know how research shows a 24-hour fast can really kick-start your body? Well this detox begins with one and The Raw Divas email you all along the way to guide you. I guess I did need some hand-holding...

Thank you again for all of you who show your support to me daily. I feel terrifically loved!

Oh and I can't forget! Yesterday my sis and I went and got Featherlocks! We each got four. I have a teal striped one, a zebra striped one, a red striped and a light purple. Since Angie has such dark hair hers show up very well. Mine? Well they fade in a bit but I got nice bold colors so I think it stands out enough.

What do you think?

Does anyone out there have Crohn's? Or Celiac Disease?

2011-05-18T11:10:00.000-06:00

scientificamerican.com

I'm beginning to suspect I have something between Crohn's Disease and Celiac Disease.

As of the past 8 months or so everything I eat makes me sick. As. a. dog. Sometimes I'll spend a week eating one or two items a day to keep the painful digestive symptoms away and it wears me down. I know I should go see a doctor but seriously? I'm terrified of a colonoscopy. Call me a wimp but that sounds like torture. And I'm a grad student which = no $.

So if any of my bloggy friends out there have any advice I am willing to pay for it.

But not with $. (see sentence above) With love? Or if you send me your addresses I will send you a thank-you. Promise.

Help me!

If I had a chicken - What I'm Loving Wednesday

2011-05-11T12:13:00.000-06:00

If I had a chicken I would call her Henny Penny.

She would live in the backyard and give me eggs every morning. It is already decided Meg would herd her so she wouldn't escape.

If I had a chicken I would love to crochet her a sweater.

Yes. This is easily the best thing I have seen today.

Mother's Day and a first try

2011-05-08T23:03:00.001-06:00

This Mother's Day was like any other. Except last night my sis Angie and I decided to make each mom going to dinner feel extra special.

We gathered up flowers, ribbon, fabric, stapler, little birds, butterflies, tissue paper and anything else in my craft boxes and designed a crown for each mother at dinner.

We had six moms including my mom (4 kids), my grandma (5 kids), my cousin Sarah (1 baby), cousin Heather (baby due in July), aunt Lori (3 kids), and other grandma (4 kids).

Aren't they beautiful? And the mothers too of course. Angie and I are quite proud of them. They all looked wonderful and radiant wearing their crowns and I'm so glad they were good sports and kept them on during the entire visit. It was a good way to show the women in our lives that we think they're special and we look to them for examples of what a wonderful mother should be.

I owe a lot to my own mom as you've heard me talk about many times. Especially now, when I don't know how I'll ever get through school or follow my chosen career path, my mom is a shining light ahead of me. She did it with three kids underfoot and working 2 jobs. I don't think I could be that strong but I hope someday I'll prove myself close to it.

I love you mama.


Me and my mama. My pupils are HUGE!!! Haha.

On an entirely different note, my dad cooked up some frog legs (we have them at our local supermarket) purely for the experience. Most of my family tried them! I wouldn't recommend them.

My Friday confessional

2011-05-06T22:50:00.000-06:00

I confess my life is normal. Average. Plain. It has very little excitement/drama/theatrics.

But these faces remind me why it is fun.

I confess my dog is insane. My sister Lise gave the little squirt a squeaky apple a month or so ago. She has since chewed off the stem and loves it to be the last thing she gives attention to before going to bed.

I confess this photo of my bag (I hate the word "purse") is a terrific example of me.

Genius in advertising

2011-05-04T22:19:00.000-06:00

As a mass comm major I appreciate good writing/filming/photography.

When I first saw the following commercial all the noise of my house stopped. My ears couldn't get enough. My pulse either quickened or became painfully slow. I'll never know. All I know is the sensation was something I had never experienced before. My intellect was engaged.

If you haven't seen this commercial yet I encourage you to take 50 seconds away from your busy day and let the imagery and magical voice swallow you up.(First mute my blog-pod on the right hand side.) Because this?

This is enchanting.

In the dumps

2011-05-03T15:00:00.000-06:00

I've been extremely down lately. It's true. I haven't seen much of my friends, I failed to return phone calls and I rejected my husbands attempts to boost my mood. I owe him one. Or forty. Give or take.

But thank you to those who tried. I am feeling better, I think. It was a very productive weekend and my laundry is under control now. Oh and the counter is clear from debris. Mostly. I unhooked an old TV set in the kitchen (bad reception) and hope my sis will take it off my hands. This act alone made me feel like a hundred bucks.

It's the little gestures we get, right? That give a little push in the right direction? Marissa coming over. Angie dropping by for the heck of it. Hour-long phone calls with Steph. Going out to breakfast with Shehan. Those things all added up make me feel better - little by little by little.

And this? Well this was the whipped cream:

Speechless. Truly. I almost cried at my desk. This gesture means the world to me.

Thank you, you incredibly intelligent men and woman! You baffle me with this generosity. I'm officially baffled. (My husband was totally in on this. He tipped them off to one of my favorite stores - sneaky.)

Another good thing - I finally finished my first crocheted baby blanket. It's so cute. However every time I look at it I want to scream at the little circles painstakingly counted to be just the right shape. That was the worst. I'm sure it will be worth it when a little (yet-to-be-conceived) baby is snuggled in it.

Things my husband taught me: Emotions

2011-04-29T13:20:00.000-06:00

One of the things that made me fall in love with my husband was his childlike emotions. I mean that in the best way possible. He expresses excitement, entertainment, happiness and humor so candidly I can't help but smile.

I don't laugh easily or get excited on a frequent basis. I suppose it's just my nature. Since marrying Shehan, though, it doesn't take a whole lot for me to get emotional.

For instance, this morning this cute couple got married:

source

I didn't particularly enjoy all the hoopla involved in the preparation and ceremony but as I looked at the photos of this sweet young woman in her perfect wedding gown and the smiles she and her sister Pippa (one of my favorite names) shared, I got strangely emotional.

I obviously don't know these people. I have little interest in the goings-on of the British royal family. But looking at their faces filled with happiness and completion made me swell up with joy.

Perhaps this is due to my own marriage and, knowing how content it has made me, when I see others go through the same commitment I feel happy that more people can feel the joy I feel.

Remember remember

2011-04-27T09:58:00.000-06:00

Last night I met with an ex-boyfriend to chat. We had a relationship that lasted three years and all of our senior year in high school. It was a good one, if immature. We share a lot of memories with each other and meeting with him was like taking a trip in a time machine. His memory is like a steel trap. It keeps things and holds them with color, emotion and life. My memory? Well you know.

It made me think of the day not long ago Shehan and I went to the UMFA to view an exhibit one of my best friends co-curated. It was called, "Cabinets of Curiosity" and was done very well. In the middle of the room was a sofa and a book.

It had hundreds of entries from tiny children to aged adults about their collections. I took a few pictures on my phone (it's no iPhone but it works) of things I found charming.

This one could have easily been written by me! But it wasn't.

This is my favorite. "I collect rokes." No biggie.

I think I wrote something like, "I collect things that make my husband smile." Which is absolutely true. I'd go to the ends of the earth if it would make my beloved crack a grin or laugh out loud. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Hypothyroidism

2011-04-24T22:55:00.001-06:00

Remember this post I wrote last year about Meg's revealing haircut?

She had gained a huge amount of weight in a short time and - if you can believe it - gained even more since that post. Something didn't add up. She is a border collie who is active and never had a weight problem before. She doesn't eat much and we've noticed excessive thirst, shivering when she shouldn't be cold with all that hair, strange patches of lost fur and sensitive skin. That's just starting the list.

We hauled our girls (Clare and Meg) into the veterinarian's office yesterday to get her thyroid checked. It was an enormous relief to find my dearest Meg indeed has hypothyroidism and putting her on twice-per-day pills will change her life back to the healthy, happy dog she once was.

I'm so glad there is such an easy fix. I want this tummy to be a thing of the past:

Also yesterday I took photos of my cousin's sweet baby.Here are a couple of favorites:

Not on a sidenote, Happy Easter. This is my favorite holiday for many reasons. One of which is the sacrifice made so long ago is the way we can celebrate new life such as this sweet baby girl.

Spilling. I'm sorry.

2011-04-21T14:20:00.001-06:00

Warning: Rough terrain ahead - I have a landslide of thoughts here.

This week has been full of emotion for me and I like to try to not mesh events/emotions/experiences into one memory because that is how details get lost. So here's the breakdown. I'd love any feedback you have to offer.

Grad school. (I'm sorry if I've hashed this out too many times. I'm just so darn indecisive.)
A new friend I met through blogging gave me some inspiring words yesterday regarding my choice in going to grad school. She said, “You are doing the right thing. Even if you have children and you end up staying home with them you will see how much of a better mom you are because of your training and your education.”
I wish she knew how perspicacious those words are to me. She’s so right. I’m finally excited about this. I mean, I always was but after a lot of reflection I feel even better about this decision. I have the opportunity and I can't ignore what our family mottos says, “Seek and Create Opportunity.”

It's a new chapter in life.

My job.
A few weeks ago a family member asked me where I am working. I told her about my position as a secretary at the U and she said, "Oh. So you're not using your degree."
I understand she meant no harm or ill will. She is the way she is. Critical without being judgmental and I get that. But really? What a great thing to say to a recent college grad. I think my job is a great one. I do. I am utilizing my learned skills and becoming better at functioning in an adult world. And also? It's getting me half off tuition prices for both my husband and me. I think I did pretty well!
The point of this story? Not only do we need to be mindful of what flies out of our mouths, we need to see people for their accomplishments and potential. Find talent instead of fault. Even within ourselves.

Relationships.
I have all sorts of character defects. I won't list them because to do so drops my self esteem about 75 points.
Recently I've read several books about historic wives and how they behaved to conduct their lives and their families. Doing so has caused me to desire a better me. A mild, soft, kinder me. I want to be the one who doesn't raise her voice, who remains calm on the surface even with turmoil underneath.
I want to be an outstanding wife and someday mother. To do this I feel I need to change. Not who I am but change my thinking and my patterns of behavior. I don't want to run my household with an iron fist and demand obedience like some autarch. Sweetness and mercy must come to me faster than judgment and avoidance.
I know what it takes to alter my character. There is one characteristic I can rely on: it is my inability to take offense and my ability to forgive. This is my foundation. I want to be a good wife.

I want to be a good friend too. As of late one of my oldest and dearest friends has been struggling. I feel we are close although she keeps things from me. I know it. But what does one do? I'm always the person who doesn't ask questions, offers aid and says, "I'm here" with every conversation. Most of my friends appreciate that I don't pry. But when I know one is struggling, how do I tell her I want her to talk? How do I find the right questions if she does want to talk?

Being a woman is so complicated.

Easter is coming

2011-04-18T11:12:00.002-06:00

My favorite holiday - hands down - is Easter. I swear it isn't just for the candy. Easter has memories, religious significance, too many boiled eggs, a complete lesson for Sunday School and baby chickens, duckies and rabbits.

I need a baby rabbit. Until then enjoy this absolutely pride-worthy photo of my oldest sister Lise at an Easter egg hunt.

And Jenny.

Sometimes the Easter Bunny would follow us to the "Property" - where our cabin is now - and we'd have to hunt all over the desert to find our Easter baskets. That tricky thing. After finding/eating the candy we'd fill our Easter buckets with sand, catch lizards and house them for a night or so.

These are my Easter memories.

"That much sweeter"

2011-04-17T21:17:00.002-06:00

As many know my best friend Allie is currently serving a mission for our church in Panama. She's been gone for 15 months already and has really enjoyed it so far. I've missed her terribly but I write to her once or twice a week. It's become a compulsion, really. I feel the need for her to know everything that goes on in my life. A good compulsion.

Anyway, I have another blog entitled "Letters to US from Panama" where I record most of what she writes me so that others can know how she is doing as well. You should check it out!

In her most recent letter she said something (lots of things but here's just one) that struck me so deeply I sat on my bed with her letter in my hands and shed a tear or two. She knows my sister, brother-in-law and their two children have moved to Nebraska and she said this, "Having friends and family far away makes reunions that much sweeter."

She's right. And I love her for it.

Yesterday we played with them for hours. Hoping to make memories stick and never fade away.

Jason loves Shehan. Chloe loves Lanna - the greatest 9-year-old cousin/babysitter ever.

As the kids and Jenny packed in the car to leave for the airport Shehan and I gave them our last hugs and kisses...until we see them again and can give more hugs and kisses.

Because this one playing peek-a-boo...

...is too much for me to miss for too long.

p.s. Thank you for the congratulations! The University of Utah College of Health has accepted me into their grad program. I am to begin in three weeks. Pray, cross your fingers, knock on wood, etc. It is appreciated.

Today is a good day

2011-04-13T11:32:00.002-06:00

First off, today is a blog hop day. I've decided to jump back on and make some new friends.

Second, today is a good day because I get to see the fam for dinner.

Third, today is a good day because I heard a bit of good news from my cousins last night that had me bursting with excitement. (They're the two sweethearts in the photo here.)

Fourth, today is a good day because the sun is out and you know what that means. A happy Jamie.

Fifth, today is a good day because I have some spring in my step entirely due to this institution:

Can you guess???

Things my dog taught me

2011-04-12T09:25:00.002-06:00

Last night Shehan wanted steak.

I do not eat steak. I don't cook steak. When he wants steak, he's on his own.

After finding some hair-brained recipe online (take "hair-brained" with a grain of salt. To me, everything is hair-brained) my darling boy blended up pineapple ends and marinated his steak in the juice. He then headed out with a friend.

I was home alone. I finished a chapter in my current book, put on some exercise clothes, started the laundry picked up the book again and got on the elliptical. One hour flies by when I read vs. watching the TV while working out. Afterward Shehan still wasn't home so I strapped the dogs in their harnesses and we headed off for a walk.

We walked the familiar path around the neighborhood. Both dogs were all business - pulling forward, eyes never straying from the sidewalk. As we neared home Meg pulled to cross the street, anticipating my familiar behavior. I stopped. Clare stopped to look at me. Meg pulled as if to say, "What? This is it. This is where we turn. I know this is where we turn. Have you forgotten?" I smiled at her, inhaled the sweet scent of cold grass and probably 12 neighborhood dryers working simultaneously - including mine - and began the walk again. I could not get enough of those sweet Spring smells.

Meg resisted. Her routine was being changed. Altered. She was instantly uncomfortable wondering if she should obey me or not. For all she knew I could have been completely delusional. She took it upon herself to remind me of the task at hand and the most appropriate action to take. She pulled toward home. I pulled her past home and up the street again. After a short while she obeyed but was clearly uncomfortable, darting glances at our house which we now had passed.

After we rounded the gate and home was out of sight she relaxed.

Watching Meg made me think. Although she is a dog we are very much alike. I dislike straying too much from my norm. I am very flexible within my comfort zone. If someone strays from the path for bad or for good I question their judgment and desire to rely solely on myself. I know what is acceptable. I know what I've always done. But I don't know everything and when the situation comes where someone knows what is best for me I need to be better at putting my trust in them and moving on. I can't forever look back (See Genesis 19:26).

Oh yes, and he said the steak was very tender, but had a hint of pineapple.

One cold snowy night in April we got engaged

2011-04-07T18:30:00.001-06:00

Two years ago tonight my wonderful husband - then boyfriend - proposed to me.

What's even better? I was totally unprepared and I looked like I had been studying for a law exam all night. In fact, I had been! My makeup was rubbed off, my hair was pinned out of my face and the jacket I wore didn't prepare me for three feet of snow. At least I was wearing my sister's shoes. ;)

But you know what? As tired as I was, as frazzled as I felt, my smile couldn't have been bigger or more genuine:

I'm a guest now

2011-04-07T08:47:00.001-06:00


Jared and Melissa - aren't they cute?

Today is a very special day. But I can't tell you why because I can't post a specific photo until tonight. So you'll have to wait for that.

In other good news, I wrote a guest post for my friend Melissa's blog Jer and Mel.

It's about a topic extremely dear to my heart. I hope you'll read it and maybe feel the flood of emotion I felt while writing it. There are things we need to hear every day but some of us are either afraid to hear them or afraid to say them.

I chose to speak up and I hope you do too in your own lives.

I don't think we're meant to sit around

2011-04-06T23:16:00.000-06:00

Way too often I feel like I'm waiting for something to begin that will change my life. Aren't we supposed to go out there and effect change ourselves, though?

When does the search for personal revelation bear fruit?

If I could post this every day I would.

I feel this way every day.

If you know anything about me...

2011-04-06T15:00:00.001-06:00

My friend Melissa over at Jer and Mel has tagged me and, being the lover-not-a-fighter I am, I will oblige. Here are a bunch of things that make my world go round:

food: Popcorn. Or gummy worms. Or cooked carrots. Or salmon. Or spinach. Or my super incredible turkey meatloaf. Yoplait Black Forest Cake yogurt. This list is clearly out of control.

color: I've always loved cranberry red and eggplant purple. Two more of my favorite foods.

animal: Dogs. And horses.

sports team: GO UTES!

Oviedo's Cathedral

dessert: Key lime pie.

artist: As in music? Norah Jones. Regina Spektor. Sara Bareilles. As in art? Scotti Hill.

pair of shoes: Flats. Heels. Everything in between.

outfit: I love me a good maxi dress - an outfit all in one!

skinny jeans: The best come from Oviedo, Spain.

brand: Method. Oh you didn't mean in cleaning products? Oh well.

perfume: Whatever my mother-in-law sent me.

accessory: Earrings! I swear I'll never get tired of them. Never.

city: I love my darling Salt Lake City. But Oviedo is a close second.

hobby: Crochet. Or scaring Shehan to death by leaping into a room unannounced.

beauty product: Chap stick. Lotion. Anything to moisten my constantly dried out body.

holiday: Easter.

snack: Popcorn.

movie: With popcorn.

song: Between The Lines. I know it's sad and about a couple breaking up but my gosh the emotion!

guilty pleasure: ~~Gilmore Girls.~~ Chocolate milk. I'll try to spare you from my interest in GG...

Here is who I'm handing the baton to:

Angie at angiemwelch.blogspot.com

Dar at livebythesunluvbythemoon.blogspot.com

Ashley at therantingspot.blogspot.com

Kassi at myroadtomrs.blogspot.com

The Whity Wife at theyoungandmarried.blogspot.com

Please disregard the flowers - and I need some advice

2011-04-04T09:06:00.000-06:00

Pay no heed to Saturday's post. As soon as I took those flower photos the sun disappeared behind thick dark clouds and we woke up to 6 inches of snow Sunday morning.

The good thing about the snow? It's usually doubly bad at my parent's house so my little sis was stranded at mine. We watched "Signs" and cooking shows until too-late o'clock. Then we both slept in my bed like we used to do when we were little.

This is how I rock my weekend:

Birthday party for 1-year old niece, meeting my mom's mission companion from la Republica Dominicana, catching the Chopped all-stars finale and eating too much dessert at Chuck-a-Rama.

Photos to follow. Of the cute things. Not the sugary coma thing.

I do have a quick question: does anyone else out there suffer with IBS? And with flare-ups of its problems? I'm feeling alone. And sick.

Reigning in

2011-04-02T16:16:00.001-06:00

Conference weekend is always welcome.

I love to be reminded of how happily we can live if we so choose. My favorite topics were:

Flecks of gold collected with patience amount to nuggets with time and care
Avoid taking offense
The family is precious and must be protected

Although many find reason to complain about Utah's fickle weather I find it a nice surprise to go from this:

To this in a matter of 2 weeks:

It's a party - for EVERYONE!

2011-04-01T09:58:00.000-06:00

Most of you are ladies so ladies and gentlemen! I am joining what is sure to be another successful blog event!

So to join the fun I'll introduce my blog:

Welcome to the family!

We are the lovebirdies: two young people determined to make life more adventurous!

My name is Jamie and I love blogging. I started out this blog with the intent to keep my memories alive since my brain refuses to do so. I blame it on the medication and a virus that took over my sixteen year old body 7 years ago. So far it has opened me up to so many new relationships and I love meeting new people.

I like to write about my crafts, post photos and someday include home ownership, babies and everything else that comes with growing old with my man. :) Blogging is not just a "hey I'd like to write down my life" sort of thing to me. It's a network of support, love and excitement. So enjoy the fun!

I can totally sew

2011-03-30T21:58:00.000-06:00

So if you want a basic envelope pillowcase or EZ-2-Sew pattern completed, you know where to go.

My little sis Angie helped beautify my house Saturday. Before getting married I made two slipcovers for pillows to add to the new couch for my new home. I've known since then that our couch needed WAY more back support for me to be able to sit on it. Staying true to my procrastinating demeanor I finally made more pillows. 1 1/2 years later. Go. Me.

Now because I was completely appalled at the price of pre-made pillow forms Angie and I knew we had to make our own. For super cheap.

Check them out:

Cute right? I love all the pillows together:

And with the fish I painted (inspired by the couch):


I swear the photo is crooked. Not the painting. Not in my house.

In addition to the pillows we made a new bed for my Megga. Hers was Charlie's old one and it stunk. Horribly. We made the form ourselves and filled it with foam chunks. This was my first time sewing on a zipper alone and uh...I'm sure I'll be better next time around. Thank heaven for the zipper foot on my sewing machine.

Just pretend she's holding still in that center shot. She's no model.

Whoever invented that foot had novices in mind. Like me.

Next time around

2011-03-28T09:28:00.003-06:00

This winter I talked a bit about my feeling depressed but I didn't delve very deep. For obvious reasons. I'd depress other people if I wrote the words that accurately represented my sorry state.

This past winter was the most difficult I've ever gone through. It is not necessary to figure out why. It was what it was. That is the best way I can find to just leave it alone. All I know now is that around the time Daylight Savings began I felt the chemicals in me change.

There is a lot of hype out there about seasonal depression. Depression in general. Lots of medications to make you happier and hundreds of marketed promises to boost! your! mood! In reality it's downright painful to be depressed and have no reason why. I have a beautiful life - a happy one. I've never had reason to despair and for that I am eternally grateful. The truth about depression for me is a chemical truth. A clean truth. An obvious truth. I have to be able to recognize the difference between me and the depression. That is why I try to work through it without adding pills to the pile. I know the sadness isn't me. I know the emotional exhaustion isn't me.

I am not my depression.

To fight the beast I have to prepare. I deal with it in ways I've spoken of here. (Exercise, cleaning, increased human interaction, hobbies, etc.) Those tactics are great but I want next winter to be better. I don't want to come home from work, collapse into my pillows and cry with no conclusion. That's a waste of my energy. Next time I will surround myself with bigger goals, faster recovery and smarter ways to deal. My darling husband has already offered his help. He has the hardest time understanding what I go through but he knows I can beat it.

With the light and the warmth returning to our snowy world I feel wonderful. I love going home and staring out my window to watch the deer as I wash dishes. Spring has brought light back. It brought me back.

So next time around I'll be ready.

Cousin's night

2011-03-27T12:47:00.000-06:00

Friday Shehan and I joined my cousins on the Welch side (paternal) for a craft/Playstation night.

The girls used etching cream to pretty up our glass dishes. My eldest sister Lise was a champ and offered her Cricut expertise to make the stencils. We had lots of fun!

Angie found an adorable vintage style pitcher at Deseret Industries and printed "Milk Co." on it. Sarah designed several of her glass dishes. My favorite had a "B" for her last name. Heather and Lanna got two fishbowls done - an idea I wish I stole! I printed my last name on my casserole dishes. It turned out beautifully!

And my darling cousin Heather humored me and posed for a prego shot:

And the men? Well they enjoyed the night too.

My sweet Spring swap

2011-03-24T18:35:00.000-06:00

Remember how I told you all I was taking part in a Spring Blog Swap?

Well true to her adorable word, my partner Erin sent me the following:

I feel loved.

I hope Erin feels just as loved when she receives my Spring favorites.

Welcome!

2011-03-22T16:36:00.001-06:00

Today I'm being featured on For The Love of Blogs!

For those of you who are new and are stopping by, welcome welcome welcome. My story is just as FTLOB covered. My husband and I are life-lovers. And dog lovers. And clean sheet lovers. Maybe that last one is just me...

I wish I could offer you a more interesting post but today my time was spent putting together a new vacuum cleaner and de-furring my house. We have two dogs. We love them but my. heavens.

Fur.

Look around new readers! Stay a while.

Soon-to-be-written posts will include my new garden, the departure of my sister and brother-in-law, grad school results (am I in??) and everything else that comes along with the craziness contained under my one roof.

This was staring at me. All. Day.

love, prayers, hope

2011-03-18T09:37:00.000-06:00

click here to donate

My luck is changing...I hope

2011-03-16T21:33:00.000-06:00

I finally won a giveaway!

Thanks to the giveaway hosted at the blog Crafty Giveaways and Reviews I won a gift certificate to the etsy shop Sweet and Lush.

I had the hardest time picking an item and that sweet Rachelle, the creator of Sweet and Lush, sent me these:

I told her I was in love with her chrysanthemum earrings so she sent me three pairs!!! I am in love. I couldn't wait to wear them so I'm wearing two. A pink and a yellow.

And that fluffy adorable flower pin? Just a bonus. Yep. I didn't even ask and she popped one in the envelope along with a handwritten note telling me to enjoy my prize.

I've made a new friend. Or seven. If you count the earrings. Eight. With the fluffy pin.

Thanks Rachelle! And Crafty Giveaways and Reviews!

A Spring Blog Swap!!!

2011-03-15T12:03:00.001-06:00

I've been invited by my new friend Katie over at JK to join her Spring Blog Swap!

She has this fun idea to pair bloggers up and send each other our favorite items for Spring. The rules are everything must total under $10.00 and you must mail your items by March 21 - the first day of Spring. If you'd like to join hop on over to her blog, check it out, leave a comment and send an email. She's going to pair people up as soon as she has enough participants and away we go!

Who doesn't need a pick-me-up for the new season? Around here the snow is melting, grass is soggy and my iris buds are peeking their heads out of the cold dirt in my front yard. If the sun would shine for one full day I'd gladly do some gardening. But...uh...y'know...who wants to work with soggy dirt? That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Some of my favorite items for Spring are:

credits: SallyHansen, Zara, CK

As simple as you make it

2011-03-14T14:37:00.001-06:00

I’d like to relive this moment.

The girl in the forefront is my sister Jenny. I am behind her. You can see my identical summer bleached bangs just past Jen’s. There is another photo of this moment taken of me. It looks mirrored to this one with me feeding the horse. Jen and I always loved horses. We rode imaginary horses around our backyard and in our dreams.

On this day the sun was shining down making my head hot. Thank heaven for those lightweight sun dresses we wore everywhere. Dresses my mom sewed in her preciously rare free time. I can still here the rhythmic munch of those horses’ powerful jaws grinding bunches of grass we offered from our hands.
If my memory serves me we were at my great-grandmother’s house in Logan. The house of many mysteries and many music boxes. That house always intrigued me with its large electric organ, making the place sound like a funeral home. The elevator next to the stairs that dad was careful not to let us try more than once a visit, if that. The lilac bushes in the back.

I’m sure the only choices I made that day were what to drink (probably lemonade or ginger ale) and whether to play inside or out (guess.)

The choices I make today are larger. Heavier and long-lasting. That’s what happens. We grow up, rinse the sun from our hair and the calluses from our monkey-bar hands and make harder decisions.

Like what to make Shehan and myself for dinner (trout and quinoa). Ha. I wish that was the hardest one. I’m still agitated about grad school, as you can probably tell.

p.s. BIG congratulations to my dear cousin and her husband on their announcing a baby girl to join the family in July!!!

A quick goodbye

2011-03-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well the sis and bro-in-law are leaving Utah. With their kids, gosh darn it.

Shehan and I said our goodbyes last night before Aaron and Jen went out to dinner. Aaron left this morning for the long solo drive to Omaha with the fam to follow in a couple weeks. Before he left we gave him a parting gift - a web cam for the wonderful world of Skype. Not a ploy to tell us everything going on in their lives in an up-to-the-minute format. Why do you ask?

After giving Aaron a quick hug I suddenly felt I had to sneeze but tears came to my eyes instead (does anyone else get that feeling?) I blinked them back as I promised to visit soon and wished him luck and safety. After Jen and Aaron went to dinner Shehan and I played with their kids for a while. Then we drove home quietly, talking about how much we'll miss that family.

2008 backpacking trip - Jason and Aaron

Aaron isn't just my brother-in-law. He's become a friend and a mentor to both Shehan and me. When Shehan wanted to ask my parents if he could marry me he went to Aaron beforehand to help him get the wording down. Aaron told him what he said to my mom and dad when his time came and counseled Shehan not to worry. Everything would work out.

Lo and behold? It did.

He's a great dad. When Jason was born and quickly attached to tubes and placed under the jaundice lights he was so calm as he looked at that little boy. I've never seen a new dad so calm.

He was a witness at my sealing to Shehan. That was a really special moment. With my sis Jenny on one side and my mom on the other I felt like I could sing that early October morning. I looked at Shehan between Dad and Aaron and saw a strong set of men. Jenny chose well. Mom chose well. I chose well.

Isn't it amazing that we can allow people in our lives who become like blood relatives? Isn't it amazing how we forge relationships out of anything? Aaron is probably the best brother I'll ever have. Saying goodbye is hard. When Jenny and the babies leave I don't know what I'll do. Heaven help me.

We are WOMAN!

2011-03-08T09:54:00.001-07:00

In honor of the 100th anniversary of International Women’s Day I'd like to discuss my own views on being a woman.

We are strong.

Yesterday I got in 30 out of my 45-minute workout when something hit me like a softball to the abdomen. My back seized up and I let out a little, "aaah!" My eyes opened wide in shock and I had to double over to catch my breath. Yep. That was cramp #1. Soon to stretch out to #2 and #3 and #4 and #Infinity. Hating to give in to something so, well, normal, I got back on the elliptical and tried to finish my routine. It's like someone pushed their hand into my stomach, grabbed every organ within a finger's reach and twisted. Oh and at the same time? My back was being stabbed between the vertebrae. Lovely, right?

This is routine for us women. And you know what? Most of us pop enough ibuprofen to simply function and go on with our lives. I know for a fact that you men who think you're so strong and you can take pain and use it! crush it! burn it! would suffer and die at the first onset. Anyone else agree? Hm?

We stick together.

Just ask Virginia Woolf, Susan B. Anthony and please read my report about The Woman's Exponent and the way women in Utah fought for their rights when the time came. They stood up and talked about it!!! Keep talking about it! Ever heard of BlogHer? We are the foundation of this world. Just believe it.

Me with Mom and Dad on my wedding day

You've all heard my view on motherhood. My mom taught me to be educated, supportive, positive and encouraging in my life. Through my life's challenges I believe my mom has carried me through. When I was bedridden with an undiagnosed problem she knew what I felt because she had been through the same strange ordeal herself just months before mine started. She is constantly telling me how proud she is of me and she's confident that whatever I choose to pursue in life I will succeed.

She's been through her fair share of problems and has come out all the better. Thanks, Mom. I'm proud to be a woman and I hope one day I'll be as strong as you.

Today I made a small donation to a worthy cause. Engender Health is a wonderful organization that publishes material and educates men, women and families about maternal health, family planning, disease treatment and prevention and gender equity. I believe in their cause and I really hope you do too. We have to take care of one another. Consider donating today to a well-deserving fund.

A Monday Party

2011-03-07T12:18:00.000-07:00

I love my friends out there in the blogosphere. I really do. That's why I love to participate in following/linking/new friend parties!

My new friend SJ at Homemaker on a Dime invited me this time and I'm so pleased to join. :) I've found new friends and way too many pages to read this way. Speaking of too much to read, I just joined A Vintage Vine and let me tell you, that Lisa has some super ideas!

So come on over, friends! Join the blog parties - it only takes a minute and you're blessed with infinite support and love from across the world.

Isn't blogging ~~super~~ lovely? Mental note: stop using "super." It gets unprofessional.

Things I've taught my husband

2011-03-02T22:29:00.002-07:00

Today Shehan learned how to zest a lemon.

And what lemon zest is.

And what zest is.

And it was good with pasta and sour cream.

I'm sinking. Oh and my teeth are falling out.

2011-02-28T21:58:00.001-07:00

Yeah not really. My teeth aren't falling out of my face. But last night I didn't take my medication before going to bed and thought they were. I thought the more I talked the more I could hear/feel bits of my teeth breaking off and crunching in my molars.

Shehan listened to me freaking out and realized I wasn't just being my normal weird.

I was being weird weird.

This may or may not be a clear and resounding warning of what the next 2-3 years of school will be like.

And I still want one of these.

Be prepared.

Someone stop me

2011-02-23T09:25:00.000-07:00

I’m terrified.
Yesterday I applied for grad school.
Send help.
Pros of grad school:

My time will be used wisely
I’ll feel like I’m using my BA
It is a goal with an end in sight
50% of my tuition is covered
I’ll be accomplished
Confidence will come with a MS
It will keep my mind off of having babies
I will have more career options
I will be in a field that uses all my interpersonal skills but lets me be a mom when the time comes

Cons of grad school:

Stress
Increased likelihood of migraines
Lack of sleep
$$$$$$$
Less availability to family and friends
Can’t have babies for a while

Pro #7 and Con #6 are constantly on my mind. Even more than Con #4. I think this is because Shehan and I have never worried about being able to pay for our schooling. I got through my first degree by paying out of pocket every time and never had to borrow money from anyone. Grad school, however, is more expensive. Yet I feel like because we are both in stable jobs and my boss supports me going to school the Lord has already given us so-called keys to the kingdom here.

I wouldn't mind doing this again. With a few extra things around my neck.

How would you like it if you gave someone an armload of gifts and the receiver flushed each one down the toilet?

I’ve already promised the Lord that if He helps pave the way I’ll use each of those gifts to their fullest. The toilet shall starve as long as I’m around.